Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Get Your Sticky Paws Off!

I've noticed a change starting to take place within myself and it's not one I'm very happy with. I have commented before on how ruthless Greek women are in the pursuit of men, to the point that they flirt shamelessly with Mr Zeus even while I'm right there. In the past there has not been much I can do about it except blog and tease Mr Zeus later, but now I've noticed that it has started to upset me.

Now when it happens, I find myself stating my territory in a more obvious way by making physical contact. I find my smile wavering. And my teasing has gone from playful to irritated. "I mean what is this? 'Would you like a coffee? Frappe? Flash of my boob?' Can't these women find their own men?"

The women of Eastern Europe in general are the most ruthless I've ever come across. As soon as a man is taken, it's like they can't resist the challenge of prying him back with their perfectly manicured fingers. It particularly pained me when it happened at a wedding and I felt like the woman was trying her luck because Mr Zeus's silly, sari-clad foreign wife wouldn't understand what she was saying anyway.

People flirt. It happens. Men flirt with me too, but they never do it when I'm with Mr Zeus. I can't understand what joy these women get from throwing themselves at taken men. But mostly I can't understand why it's starting to bother me more than it used to. Maybe somewhere in my subsconcious I thought that it would stop at some point and it hasn't.

I'm not a jealous person, I never really have been, so I don't want to continue on this path. I don't want Mr Zeus to grow tense when some predatory banshee flirts with him because he knows that afterwards I'll go on about it. I don't want to feel myself grow agitated and struggle to hide this from showing on my face (nearly impossible) when a woman who's been flirting lightly with my man bumps me along to the furthest chair from him. I mean really, what do you do in that situation? You could say "Excuse me but would you mind if I sat next to my husband?" but if it was an honest mistake then you'll just embarrass the person.

You know what's interesting about these women. Seeing a man they like taken turns the whole thing into a challenge for them and they will try their luck any way they can. If they manage to lure the man away, maybe somewhere in their twisted little minds they've won the game, whatever that may be.

But years later these women too cry when their own men cheat. So why start the cycle in the first place?

By the way, in my research, this phenomenon happens to all men as long as they are no longer single. So tell me, how can I go back to not caring? Oh and guys who are having a hard time finding a woman, the next time you're in a bar start talking about your imaginary wife and watch what happens.



smaro said...

Hey sweetie

I too don't understand this instant attraction to those men that single women can't have and shouldn't really wish to dangle after. Eastern European women are definitely notorious, I was friends with one once and witnessed her antics..pathetic, dangerous and pointless.

I am sorry that they also use your foreigness as an excuse: she won't know, she won't understand what's going on. It's like foreign equals naive, trusting and impervious to the eyelash-batting going on under your very nose. For me it's the fact that I am sweet, cute and thus trusting and that I don't appear a dominant sexual female so I can't be what my boyfriend really wants. The fact that I look like I wouldn't hurt a fly also doesn't help. (on the other side though my personality gets me undue attention from those men wishing to pry happy, attached good girls away). I think it's a whole wish to corrupt something good and corrupt someone good.

Maybe our buttons have been pushed one too many times? Maybe somewhere along the line when he became your husband you assumed things would subtly stop? Maybe you are waiting for him to be firmer in extinguishing any eyelash-batting or maybe you just wish you could tell those hussies to clear off!

bollybutton said...

I think the Nice Girl thing has a lot to do with it because Mr Zeus is my polar opposite so I can almost see their minds going "Ha! What does he think he's doing with this sweety pie? I could show him a really good time!"

And I count Greek women along in Eastern Europe. Women from the neighbouring countries to Greece are just as bad.

One day I might snap and start strangling one of them with the edge of my sari and then we'll see who's Miss Sita Sweety Pie from India!

Sesi said...

Oh haha! I DID go off once!
My husband is cuteish, but in the manly man sort of way, so regardless how clumsy he happens to look at any given time, he still gets women flying all over him. Worst that happened to him so far, him being alone but his wedding ring clearly visible, was a woman showing him her private parts in the bus. Thank god I wasnt present or Id show her.
I WAS with him however, the day a known Greek supermodel eyed him in a not-so-subtle way. I got so angry by the fact that she could just snap her fingers and have ANY man in the superstore we were in at the time, that i hissed something along the lines of "hey, you slut, what you looking at?!", to which she immediately looked away.
I'm not insecure about my relationship. I know my husband loves me very much, and I love him back. But it bothers me to death when women do not respect my presence and presume they could conquer my man. And i AM territorial, so any woman crossing the line in my presence gets what she clearly deserves: my best language;) I don't see why you should do otherwise.

bollybutton said...

Sesi that's exactly it. I am not in any way upset with my man for attracting the attention. I'm upset with these women for being so disrespectful of my territory. How can they treat another woman in such a shitty way? Aren't we supposed to be on the same side?

If you are a woman who indulges in this kind of behaviour, I ask you to please explain it here, without judgement from me or anyone else. I just want to understand what it is you get from doing this.

What's your perspective?

smaro said...

Well done Sesi, I would have done the same!
Women are not known to be bosom buddies when it comes down to a man and sometimes I think they like the challenge of invading another woman's territory. on the flip side, we have insecure women, needy women who have become total monsters thinking I would try to steal their man...simply because I am being friendly and holding a conversation with is a terrible thing for that, its like these women believe their men are the only ones in the world and somehow I and others must want to steal them away...hello, it's a big pond..plenty of other frogs out there! Not that I am looking. :-)

Tony said...

What makes something precious to have?
It's when someone else seems to care a lot about it. And when I say a lot, I mean A LOT! Like binding yourself for life to it. So in fact you yourself told the rest of womenkind that MrZeus is very precious and women are curious, they want to know exactly how precious he is (to you)

teacher dude said...

Funnily enough I was just reading economist, Robert H. Frank's take on this in his book, "The Natural Economist Why Economics Explains Almost Everything" (snappy title, huh?). Apparently, your presence is proof that Mr Zeus is in fact a good catch, otherwise he wouldn't be with somebody as attractive as you.

In some weird, twisted way these women are paying you a compliment, it seems.

Anonymous said...

Dearest BollyButton,

This morning, in between checking my mail and having my coffee, I myself got startled at something that happened to me and my beloved Greek boyfriend last night. More precisely, after some long working hours, came back home and decided to go together and pick up a dvd from the near-by video shop in order to indulge into some cosy time before we left this morning for a small trip. While i was diligently trying to park my car in a no-man's-land-Greek-parking-situation, my boyfriend left me to deal with it (totally Greek style) and went on inside the dvd shop. And here comes the juicy part: when i entered the shop, he did not notice my presence while I decided to lovingly observe him from a distance...What do you think that distance showed to me? Him, the great Zeus of all times brushing himself against a very greek, good looking woman, shamelessly body language flirting, while the woman herself responding although her partner/husband/whatever was just a few steps away gazing into her direction himself with a scolding look...For the firsts minutes or so i felt like a silly spectator to a very bad show, a spectator who has gotten almost sick to see the same show over and over again although the tickets have been offered for free every single time. But how much of the same show can one digest even when it's free of charge, right? Morale of the story? probably a long and very instructive one, but i'll try to pinpoint the most interesting facts extracted both from this story and some similar others: my Mr.Zeus and god knows how many others, is not entirely innocent - but then again, how can you beat up an ancestrally unfaithful Zeus? Greek women themselves are shameless in their pursuit of men, weather themselves married /with boyfriend or not - it may just as well have to do in their situation with the same ancestral modus vivendi because hey, Hera herself was not a loyal wife on a pay-back basis! :) Of course, this may sound as a very simplistic way to put things, but then again, in such situations when the most logical arguments fail to succeed in restoring one's peace of mind, the only thing left seems to be accessing one's humor and making reference to the Legends of Mount Olympus :)
How about me though? Eastern European by origin (Romanian, more precisely), citizen of the world from a fairly young age due to studying abroad + living and working abroad consequently for some long years, brought up by a very sound and loving family of professors, totally in disagreement with the omnipresent stigma brought upon all living creatures of the ex-Eastern European block on a basis of general judgments, loving and embracing all cultures, proud "owner" of beloved friends coming from a multitude of cultures, humble soul with a strong inclination towards nurturing all hurting creatures to the extent of feeling drained of all energy, strong believer in family values, go-getter only to the point where i sense that my actions might harm the ones besides me, be them strangers or friends, instinctive believer in mankind and its wonderful potential, always putting up a non-vain attitude, stubborn and introspective at most times, lover of life and promoter of non-judgmental attitudes. That being said, although it might sound either as self- advertising or as a hilariously-extended dating site announcement, I hope my writings here, which are probably lacking the eloquence i would have liked to place within them (but did not manage to due to my strong emotional attachment both to the subject of shameless flirting in Greece and that of Eastern European women being pointed at as despiteful creatures), will manage at least to place a question mark within your decision of thinking ALL East European women are the sole "stealers", ruthless attackers, untouched by the same issues you are, dragons spitting fire-flirting-maneuvers creatures.
Last but not least, I apologize for the Proustian (i.e. long, interminable phrases which at times give the impression of a lost stream of thought - which, by the way, may be the case here) style of writing which has always given me troubles, but it seems like no condensed thought on the above subjects could find its way within this written comment.
All the best and may you be safe from all devouring flirting Greek habits!