Top Model News

Hello, fashionistas. We're nearing the end of Greece's Next Top Model and at this stage it's anyone's game. Who will be Greece's Next Top Model and enjoy a few months of fame on Star channel before disappearing again?

In last night's fun-packed episode, Ioanna, Seraina, Monica and Maria were sent off to London. Well, not Maria. She had some problems with her paperwork and wasn't allowed to board the flight. Shame. But that's the world of fashion, bitches; it waits for no one.

Anyhow, the person happiest of all was Vicki Kaya, who had orgasm after orgasm at the sheer delight of being able to throw her Queen's English around. Seriously, this woman has shown as much liveliness as a dead frog up till now, and once on the streets of London she was practically crying with joy. I've never seen her so enthusiastic. Maybe she joined the mile high club on the way over, who knows. Though with an entourage of fashion men and the persuasions of male flight attendants, I doubt that.

By the way, Vicki likes to coach the girls all the time about how they need to project more, get more into the mood of things, try harder, be the role. Well, I saw her in the Greek movie Loufa kai Paralagi where she played a soldier's girlfriend and it was excruciating to watch. She was terrible all the way through. There was a sex scene where the guy was all like "Oh yeah baby!" and Vicki was flopped on the bed looking like she was waiting for a PAP test. It had to be the unsexiest sex scene ever.

Or maybe it wasn't. If the director was shouting "No, Vicki, look like you have a rod shoved up your ass. I mean, like ALL THE TIME. Look bored like this is so not even worth your time. I want your eyes deader. No, deader than that. That's it! Perfect!" then she is a world-class actress.

Back in London, everyone loved Monica O' Man Chin. I'm starting to change my mind about her. Up until now I've wondered why the hell she's even there. She has model height but not model looks, and not model legs. But I have to say, lately I'm coming around to the idea of her winning. I don't think any of the other girls want it as badly as she does.

Her fashion knowledge of the Greek and international market is head and shoulders above any of the other girls, maybe even most of the judging panel, and she is not at all scared to let herself look ugly if that's what the photo demands. She is probably the most versatile of the bunch and has worked the hardest out of anyone to stand on an equal footing with the other girls who have an automatic advantage of being prettier than her.

Seraina is the most beautiful with the best body, but zero personality. She has nothing that would make you remember her. Ioanna take stunning pictures, but she's not versatile, and Maria seems to take most of her modelling advice from the Porn Star Book of Modelling.

So carting the girls off the London was a great idea because it showed how they would fare on an international market. In Greece, people like their models pretty. Actually, people like their models with their legs showing and lots of makeup. That's about all you have to do to call yourself a model - for example take some of the exhibitions I went to this weekend where lots of these 'models' were rolling around product stalls, attracting perverts and putting off any serious customers. One of them gave me a seriously bitchy look in the toilets.

The London market is much more into weird looks and Tyra's famous ugly/pretty concept, so they adored Monica and flushed the rest of the skinny bunch down the toilet. Yes, you can flush things down the toilets in London. It's allowed, unlike Greece, where you'd have to throw them in the bin which wouldn't have the same dramatic effect.

No one was eliminated, probably out of courtesy to Maria, and roll on next week when the final showdown takes place.

Out of all the above, even if Monica doesn't win she is the one most likely to make a serious fashion modelling career for herself. She's only 18, knows the market very well already and has got this far on sheer effort and determination alone. I can see her doing really well outside of Greece where her look is more in demand.

Write on the Money

They say blogging is the forte of failed journalists. I'm the first to put my hand up and admit that! I blog because I love to write, and no one loves me enough to pay me to make it my profession. So I think about my two journalism degrees, my university room walls papered with interesting or well-written articles by admired journalists rather than Brad Pitt posters, and I wonder how come I'm blogging and there are journalists out there who get to work for the Financial Times despite knowing pretty much nothing about the Greek economy.

I say this because the analysts at work are still circulating articles about how China is going to buy Greece's debt and what would happen if Greece defaulted on their debts. I mean, people! Do a little homework! This is the Financial Times we're talking about, not a lowly blog like mine. Such wildly inaccurate information actually creates more problems than it solves.

If I worked for the Financial Times, I would work pretty damn hard to make sure I earned my employment there. That's like... one of the Holy Grails of journalism. I would certainly not simply pull stories out of my ass, and furthermore I wouldn't go chasing the head of a sovereign state up and down stairwells, trying to put words in his mouth like he was some sort of disgraced movie star.

But my biggest complaint is this! How come I know more about the Greek economy writing a blog about Bollywood and Greece's Next Top Model than a journalist for the FT who is PAID to know what they're writing about??

FT editors, if you're reading this, you can email me at bollybutton@gmail.com. Will write for bylines!

*The cartoon reads: "Our beloved friend Greece. Dies tomorrow, buried today. The Financial Times" from Greece's ΒΗΜΑ newspaper, Sunday 31 January 2010, reflecting the sentiment in the Greek press that the Financial Times is hell-bent on negative and inaccurate stories about Greece no matter what the facts might show.

Image: http://www.tovima.gr/default.asp?pid=2&artid=312620&ct=32&dt=31/01/2010

If you've Never Watched Bollywood Movies...

... here's a four minute crash-course from the dynamite BBC series, Goodness Gracious Me.



I've had the 'pleasure' of meeting some Chunky Lafunga Bollywood actor types. They really are like that.

Around this time of year I always start getting painfully nostalgic for the Home Country. I can tell myself as much as I want that there were reasons we left, very good reasons, that my life is so much better etc. etc. etc. and all of that is true.

But you still miss the place you grew up, however good or bad, and time has a funny way of accentuating only the good memories. You're left with memories of places that in your mind are more beautiful than they actually are, tastes that were more delicious than they actually were, seasons that were more gentle than they actually were, people that were nicer than they actually were.

In effect, you pine for a place that doesn't exist any more, because it never existed in the first place.

So this is going to be a bit of a boring post, with some of my favourite songs from the Homeland from the best of the best - Junoon.

Friday Bollywood Beatbox!

It's been a while so let's take it slowly and get into the spirit of things with this smoldering love song from the movie Dil Se, with a naff video. Sorry about that!

Oh, No Baby!

Happy New Year, honey pots! Hope you all had a happy and healthy start to the new year. I saw the new year in away from Athens in our country shack. Most Greek families have a place in the country to retreat to - a throwback from times when holidays abroad were too expensive.

We had fancy honeymoon plans for the two weeks we had taken off, like Cuba or Brazil. But in the end, being so tired and run down from stress, we packed off to our country shack where we hung out with the sea urchins and the sheep for two weeks. It was grand. On new year's eve an old couple, family friends, invited us over for dinner.

We went expecting a quiet evening. Don't be fooled even by little old couples in Greece. Those two had a sleight of hand technique of topping up my glass with so much all-too-easy-to-drink home made wine that I went home buzzing, and when I woke up I was still drunk until around 2 pm the following day.

The one thing everyone, and I mean everyone said when wishing us a happy new year was "And a baby!" Several even went as far as saying "Don't tire yourself in your condition!" to which I would think "Wow! How does this lady know I'm on my period! How considerate of her to... oh. You mean the OTHER condition. The opposite of this one."

As it stands me and Mr Zeus are the only recently married couple still without lump or bump. The issue is two-fold. First, we have no where to put our shoes so where would we fit in a baby? Second, this time last year I was so desperate for a baby that in order to drag myself away from thoughts of baby-snatching and unsolicited attacks on Mr Zeus, I brainwashed myself into cooling off the baby idea.

Unfortunately for me I'm a little too good at brainwashing myself. I overshot the target and now I don't want a baby at all, which has crossed with Mr Zeus starting to come round to the idea. I foresee battles ahead. And don't tell me how fabulous it all is because you're preaching to the converted. And then unconverted.

I currently know five friends who are expecting. Lately as soon as a female friend says she has news, I automatically know what it's going to be. Which is fantastic, but I only have one simple request.

There was a period when I went nuts bidding on yarns on ebay and for the first time I won every bid. Sadly, all this yarn is in shades of pink. So PLEASE!!! Help me use it up and have baby girls!!

Image: http://www.fremantlepress.com.au/dreamgirl/filesend/2900/crew.jpg

Junk in the trunk

I've been getting so much useful information on my blog lately via comments. I am now rich beyond my wildest dreams! Want to know how I did it? With a cucumber and one single click! Then, tired of being a skinny nerd, I was able to buy a ton of V**I$#^A*^&G**R##A online and my penis is now gigantic and rock hard and She is Begging Me for mOre each nite.

Further to that, I became throughly eloquent but for as in the great pickle went mountain cheese oh my said lilian.

Spammers. FUCK OFF!!!!!!