Friday, June 13, 2008

Gold Hoop Jumping

There are some things in life you don't even notice until it becomes a possibility that you can't have it any more. This is what I thought about my life, having been a good Home Country girl who turned the balance upside down and didn't do things the acceptable route of meeting, dating, engagement, marriage, living together. When my older sister got married and went through the ceremonies, I could see the contentment on her face: "I did it the right way and I earned this". Never mind, I thought, I made my choices and I would be happy with them too. There would be no emotional kiss on the forehead from my father as he handed me over to my new life - I beat him to that two years ago when I boarded an Olympic Airlines flight alone from London to Athens.

So when I found multiple missed calls on my mobile and a frantic message from my mother that she'd been trying to call me, I became worried. She called again as I began to dial "BB where have you been I've been trying to call you!"


"Is everything ok mum? What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong. I just need to know your bangle size."

"My bangle size? What for?"

"Your cousin is coming from the Home Country and Dad and me wanted to give you gold bangles like we gave your sister when she got married. For your Ceremony."

On hearing this, the modern woman in me launched into a dialogue about how I didn't need gold bangles and it was okay. Actually, I didn't feel I had earned them because I didn't do things the right way. The next time I go to the UK Mr Zeus and I will indeed take part in a small ceremony at my parent's house which in Home Country terms makes us officially married. Gold bangles are the traditional mark of a married woman. Modern Bollybutton said not to worry, but Mum insisted. And traditional Bollybutton smiled.

It's not the bangles and the fact that they are gold - I'm not much of a fan of gold. It's the thought that I will receive a rite of passage which I didn't believe I would get or deserve. No matter how 21st Century I may be, a part of me will always be a Home Country girl. I don't know if that's Having It All, or just a confusing way to live!

I will finally be able to tell my best friends in the Home Country I am married and I won't have to hide my life in Athens any more.

And in case you're wondering, my bangle size is 2.4.


Anonymous said...

Occasional lurker here..Congratulations on the wedding!

And I'm glad you're getting bangles..every girl needs bangles..I went crazy buying bangles from Hanuman Mandir-a famous temple in country next to home country-for my sister's wedding. And she got married to a Pole. And at the reception at Club in city neighbouring home country, we all sashayed along in our chiffon saris (and my new peach and gold bangles)..and everyone remarked on how lovely the couple looked.

I wish you a lot of happiness with Mr. Zeus :)

Anonymous said...

This post just made me smile.

You'll earn the bangles for marrying a Greek!

Then fifty years later you earn the medal of bravery for still being married to a Greek!


Anonymous said...

hey congratulations, it is so obvious that your parents love you and want to be a part of your life even if your choices are probably all a bit confusing for them. they must be very special people. like i said congratulations with love from Scotzesa, ps i think it is so obvious that i'm a mum as i just see it from your mum's point of view something i would never have done 20yrs ago when i met my own mr zeus

GreekGoddess said...

BB, I love your blog. I've read every single post and every single post has made me either laugh or nod vigorously while rolling my eyes, or both! You were meant to go to Greece, I'm sure of that, and you really should write a book about it because your thoughts and ideas are bestseller material. Keep on posting, you're my replacement chocolate fix. :)

bollybutton said...

Thanks for the wishes guys! Scotzesa, I know what you mean. It took me a while but I can appreciate my parents' point of view completely and only imagine their thoughts when I upped and left for Greece. I might as well have said I was moving to Mars to live with aliens.
And GG, that's very nice of you to say especially since i believe my coming to Greece was meant to be too! xx

Ellah said...

That's such a beautiful story! I'm glad your parents are so considerate. My father is still having trouble on that front, so I know how much it means. My mother is great though. She gave me a choice of the top five on and said she'd shoulder the whole cost. It's the traditional wedding I always wanted but didn't dare ask for (or admit I wanted).