Did you know that yesterday's highest temperature in
The first shock to my system was suddenly realising that I could understand everything being said around me. This is not necessarily a good thing. When some chavtastic girl is sitting next to you on the bus, blabbing away on her pink bejewelled mobile about how much she likes Chase but Chase don't like her 'cos he likes Mercedes, which makes no sense 'cos Mercedes is a f*cking fat cow and so on and so forth, you wish you could erase the neurological pathways that enable you to understand English.
The second shock to the system is all the ethnic minorities. After initially thinking how diverse
As time goes on, I feel myself being slowly spat out by
Journeying into my office from the airport, I observed what a selfish, miserable bunch Londoners are. Standing in anyone's way for a nano-second results in loud tut's and sighs of exasperation. You'd think everyone was on their way to perform life-saving surgery, but they're all in such a rush mostly to get to their workplaces.
Jesus, people! You have the excuse of a decrepit and overcrowded transport system to carry you around
Using my laptop as a battering ram, I was able to exist and enter carriages quite effectively. The rest of the time I decided to adopt a relaxed Athenian pace, because reason number 1 I hate coming to
Another strange side effect of living in
Hence I speak in a bizarre mish-mashed accent of all the places with an accent I've ever lived (Midlands,
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