Monday, March 08, 2010

Economy and Pornography are Greek words

On Friday night I passed a Greek-living milestone. I went to my first bouzoukia at Frangelico. It's been almost four years since I moved to Greece and in all that time, Mr Zeus has never taken me to something like this. For those who don't know, bouzoukia clubs are your typical grass roots Greek entertainment - a club with live singing and music, usually very emotional and dramatic, where in the past plates were smashed on the stage to show appreciation of the performer.

These days, plates have been replaced with over priced trays of carnations. I've got to say, as corny as the whole set up struck me, I am a glutton for cheese and campness and I LOVED it!! Okay, it's not something I would do every night, but it was still hugely entertaining and completely different to any night out I've ever had.

Frangelico is frequented by some Athens celebrities, and on the night we spotted the mayor who married us and that mean chef from Efialtis Sthn Kouzina. And would you believe it, he was wearing a baseball cap even inside a dark club.

Anyway, at one point one of the performers took a break from singing, looked out into the crowd and said , "Ah... Julia.." at which point everyone broke into applause and a hand in the crowd shot up waving a DVD.

With everyone in Athens getting tired of talking about the shiteous economic situation, one of Greece's Queens of Skank, Model/Singer/Whatever Julia Alexandratou did us all a favour and released a sex tape of herself.

Okay so she claims it was done without her consent, but I'm not buying. According to her this was a private moment. Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but personally my private moments tend not to happen with a professional camera man and a professional porn actor.

Furthermore, she claims someone did the same thing to her in the past and she didn't go public that time. Eh.. if it bothered you that much the first time, surely something in your brain would say letting a cameraman into your bedroom again is a bad idea? Or not? Dunno.

Within hours of the news breaking, everyone with internet access had seen the tape. That's the thing with porn in Greece, at least those out of Mr Zeus' generation don't take it seriously. It's watched to be laughed at, not to draw inspiration from. It was the number one topic at our dinner party on Thursday.

Normally, I avoid porn because you can never be sure who is exploiting who, and it's so obviously fake I don't see the attraction. But celebrity porn is considered fair game and even I watched it, and here's my verdict: she was stoned out of her brains, looked really bored, and it was too well filmed and edited to be an amateur job.

Actually, I listened to more of it than I watched because most of it was so boring. Eventually I got tired of that too and skipped along the tape to see what it contained. Your standard stuff really, some oohing and aahing, a bit of this, a bit of that and the money shot. Ta da. It's not rocket science, and you should think twice about denying something that is so obviously professional.

Especially when there are photos of you circulating with two representatives from the biggest porn production company in Greece! I mean, really Julia! No one is buying your story!

But everyone is buying your DVD. On Saturday as I walked through the vegetable market outside my house, someone was shouting "Two kilos of potatoes for two euros, and a free DVD of Julia!"

Oh well. At least we all got a brief break from talking about the economy.


Anonymous said...

LOL... I wondered how long before this got a mention on the blogosphere.

I have met her a couple of times in person through a friend of mine.

All I can say is that she wasn't sociable at all and didn't look anything like she does in the magazines.

Phil said...

A hilarious post.

bollybutton said...

Why deny it, ED! We're all talking about it, so we should be blogging about it. This is a public service blog, no topic is left untouched.

I swear though, I'm so tired of hearing about the awful economy I've started watching Star news, with blanket coverage of which model fought with another model, the latest Julia news and other such fluff.

bollybutton said...

Oh, and what I love best about all of this is all the other ho bag skank models who are now acting holier than thou. They're so happy that one of then is tackier than they are (which I didn't think was possible).

Sasha Basta appeared on Ola9 in this skank ho outfit that looked like sparkly swiss cheese, with her boobs hanging out, her fake blonde extensions, tut tutting at Julia's lack of class.

I mean really, ladies, you're each as bad as the other.

Matt said...

I feel for her though. I really hate it when I'm having sex with a professional pornstar who just so happens to come into my London penthouse, brings along a professional film crew and then starts recording us getting our freak on, and THEN to have it leaked to the general public. Man, it gets me so ANGRY!

Anonymous said...

Bollybutton - hilarious post. Totally agree - infact you've captured all the stunning vocab i would have used for the peroxide blonde w/black box shining Greek super star. Perhaps she is as dense as the colour of her hair, i mean liar liar pants of fire?!
Maybe she'll do us a favour by saving the humongous debt Greece has by selling her DVD's worldwide? Oh, but they're selling them here now for free with potatoes, excellent!
V bored of Star now and the chit chat over here about the economy... blah blah blah blah

Anonymous said...

One more: can't we just ship the likes of Jordan, Julia, Sasha, Bianca Gascoigne and major chav's alike somewhere where they won't be found, pretty please???