Thursday, August 06, 2009

Looking Ahead

There is no country like Greece for trash TV. In fact , my number one reason for recommending learning Greek is so you can watch trash TV.

The number one trash channel here is Star TV, which only just stopped presenting their sexual inuendo studded weather bulletin with a weather girl in lingerie. Men loved it, I loathed it. Telos panton, anyway, Star TV in the summer blankets every news bulletin with bikini shots of women at the beach.

Their number one news gathering strategy is to head to the beach with a camera and interview people about how hot it is. In between these vox pops they slice in up-the-butt shots of women's bikini clad asses, the skimpier the better! Let's not forget that the newsreader has to always appear with her breasts half in half out of whatever top she's wearing, preferably some cheap and shiny form of satin.

My younger sisters and two cousins spent much of their wedding trip down at the beach and not once, twice got approached by the Star TV camera, which then departed upon discovering they spoke no Greek. I was appalled. The wedding planning stole my chance to be on my favourite trashy channel. If only I'd been there!! I would have totally been like all "Man it's hot! And I got this colour because I use baby oil. Screw sun protection!"

With August though, even trash TV presenters have gone on holiday, including my all time favourite Rania Thraskia, who has either gone to the beach or gone off to have her baby. Rania is none other than the presenter of my favourite trash TV show, Koitao Brosta (Looking Ahead).

The format is a daily topic with an expert panel and a phone-in for the general public. I tell you, Jerry Springer, Maury, Trisha, Jeremy Kyle ... these people are nobodies in front of this show. The four of them put together would make up Rania's little finger.

Where else but Koita Brosta can I enjoy such delightful phone-in topics such as:

* I got plastic surgery to look like my daughter in law because I'm jealous that she stole my man son

* My bitch of a daughter in law gave herself the bad eye and lost her baby at 5 months. A baby boy at that! How dare she! So me and my son threw her out. But not right away, we let her stay one day before we threw her out. And no, Rania, actually you're wrong because I am more devastated than her.

* I'm 19. My parents don't understand why I want to marry my 46 year old lover instead of get an education

* All my friends are rich and do rich people stuff. I don't work, because I gave my husband the favour of doing him a baby, so he should work to maintain my lifestyle. We're EUR 100,000 in debt but so frickin' want? I want to go on an expensive holiday! We can just take out another loan!

* I regularly left my child at home alone all night while I went out to search for my good for nothing husband, and now I don't know why she's all like "You're a terrible mother!"

* I adopted a boy and now that I have my own child I don't want him any more. I told him he's not my child and I hate him, and he's such a little demon child he misbehaves all the time! Not because he's lashing out for attention Rania, no, he's just a bad child. He is not my child. My child doesn't behave like that

* My daughter in law is crazy because she called the police after my son beat her. She does not care at all what the village will say about my family the selfish cow! It's not like it was the first time he beat her, so I don't know what her problem is. But anyway, all women get beaten by their husbands, isn't it?

And so many more. Every day is like a new delight on her show. Sometimes the callers are so ridiculous, I wonder if they're just making stuff up. But who cares! I'm entertained!

I hope Rania comes back off her holiday soon, because I'm getting bored of watching repeats of shows I've already seen. My life would be a barren desert of seriousness without Rania.


bluetulip said...

My Greek improved 100% because I was watching Antenna TV. I had pay tv put in a long time ago. I used to watch "Proinos Kafes" (Morning Coffee) with Eleni Menegaki. I kid you not, my Greek was very basic.
The next time I visited Greece 2001 my relatives commented on how much my Greek improved.. I jokingly said to them... "I have to thank Eleni Menegaki"..
I agree with you about interviews on the beach. Not just on the beach but there is always strategically inappropiate camera angles of female presenters, models etc.
That wouldn't and does not happen on Australian day time tv.
Keep cool

robert said...

Arriving today five years ago, with a knowledge of two Greek words - honestly, nearly forced me to watch such TV. Agree with bluetulip that it helpt much and a couple of months later, turned to channels like Skai.
Last year I received a language diploma, with Lian kalos and for more than two years now don't watch any TV at all.

Anonymous said...


So I'm sick of the summer schedules on TV. I'm kinda surviving on doses of The Nanny on Alpha and Extreme Makeover Home Edition on ANT1.

I'm really annoyed that Mega didn't show season 3 of The Tudors this summer.

So I'm waiting for September to see what the new TV season will bring us... but then YOU have to go and remind me exactly what is waiting for us. TRASH TV!

I'm not a fan of Star Channel as a news outlet but I did watch the weather to see what the temperature would be in 'Attikoula mou'. LOL.

These TV shows should be BANNED and the people who appear on them should be locked up for their own good.

If I ever come across one of these shows... I flick to the next station quicker than the speed of light.

Let's hope that viewing figures drop off so the networks drop these crappy shows from their schedules!

Sara said...

I am really sorry to have to tell you this, but Rania resigned last month and is not going to continue with this show!

Love your blog by the way!

bollybutton said...

Sara... is this some kind of sick joke to give me one less reason to live? Noooooooo!!!!!!!!

Sara said...

Sorry hun, but it's true, Koitao Brosta is being replaced by yet another daily Greek celebrity slashing programme!!!!!

Phil said...

I totally agree with you, greek tv is full of junk. Have spent many a lazy afternoon lowering my IQ. Im starting a blog but I cant find it on any search engine even though Ive submitted it a while ago. Help would be welcome.