BB Goes to Mykonos

I did something I've never done over Orthodox Easter and went to Mykonos. Mykonos is Greece's number one party island, especially famous with celebs and the gay community.

We took advantage of a special offer on at a hotel that normally costs stupid amounts of money, which we shared with a very noisy Spanish family and a couple of football players. And an extremely, extremely friendly receptionist who practically ripped off her clothes and did a naked dance on the main desk in her shameless pursuit of Mr Zeus.

"Mr Zeuuus" she cooed one afternoon after we'd returned from lunch for a nap, "how aaaare you?" *makes goo goo eyes, makes goo goo eye*

"I'm doing fine Kyria Whatever (Kyria in Greece is the equivalent of Ms or Mrs, and used regardless of a woman's marital status)"

"Oh chortle chortle! Not Kyria Whatever, DESPINIS Whatever (Despinis is the equivalent of Miss, used not that often but to imply a young, unmarried girl)"

Next, she probably dropped her pen down her cleavage and asked him to retrieve it "because I just painted my nails" for all I know, since I decided I'd had enough disrespect for an afternoon and went to wait outside our room while two little Spanish girls played with a stray cat that looked all partyed out.

That's the telling thing about Mykonos and how it must be in the summer. Even the cats on the island look coked out of their brains. They have these pathetic little scratchy voices like they spent all night smoking and shouting "Yeah DJ! Louder! Louder! Come on cats, hands in the air and SCREEEAAAAMMM!"

At this time of year, Mykonos is still just about okay to visit and have a relaxing time. But if, like me, you tend to have Ugly Days, it's not the most fun place. The light in Mykonos is so white it highlights flaws on your face you weren't even aware of so that even if you think you're okay looking, a day in Mykonos makes you throw up your hands and scream "Oh God! I'm... Quazimodo!"

The island is crawling with beautiful people who don't smile and all look like they were made at the same factory. Yeah okay, I know the beautiful people are what Mykonos is all about, but for all their good looks none of them looked like they were having much fun. We went to the famous Caprice bar which was lovely, but not much partying was going on in there.

So we went to Mykonos Bar which drew us in with the one and only decent song they played for the next hour and a half, by which time we'd ordered drinks and it was too late to make a quick exit. Finally when we couldn't take any more remixed Greek ballads, we went hunting for something else and we did find one really small bar, the name of which escapes me, where we had a great time.

A bunch of drunk Greeks took a photo with me as I was making my way back from the ladies room, so if you woke up with a picture of you and a dark-skinned girl in a white dress with glasses and you have no idea who she is or why she's in your picture, that's me.

The hotels' pool was filled with sea water. The sea around Mykonos is chilly even in the summer but it was positively asset-freezing this time of year. Still, having dreamt all winter about swimming, I couldn't wait any longer so while Mr Zeus dipped his toes in, I dipped myself in.

Bonus points for me since I was so terrified of the sea four years ago I would blanch if I went any deeper than my waist. I couldn't even swim back then, and I'm not too great at it now either since my muscles have turned to custard sitting all day infront of this computer. But I did enjoy myself more than ever before.

On that note, winter seems to have lasted forever. It's still not hot. It's starting to feel like summer will never come. My life in Greece is the summer, and then the bits where I'm waiting for summer to happen.

Image: http://www.mikatravel.com/front/files/travels/TVL6813FM54YF263/img/mykonos2.jpeg