If it Ain't White, it Ain't Right!!!

Ladies! Ever had problems in the bedroom? What have you tried to do about it? I bet you just went to the usual stuff - new lingerie, new exciting games, toys and all that crap.

Well, let me save you a lot of trouble and heartache. Your man is avoiding you because you hoo ha is too dark. Yes! And we'd never have even known that if it wasn't for an Indian company that has just started marketing an intimate wash that not only washes and dries your vagina (supposedly a good thing) but also bleaches it! Hooray!

Think of all the marriages that could have been saved if only women had access to a product that would turn their disgusting, slippery, skin-coloured nether regions nice and white and dry. Because nothing says sexy like a nice, bright, white and dry snatch. The man who came up with this has clearly never been near an actual human vagina.

It would be funny if it wasn't so sad. I bet you any money there are girls in Asia who will watch this and wonder how to get a hold of some. Well done, Clean and Dry company, you couldn't insult us any more unless you came up with something to bleach and brighten our horrific, smelly uteruses.

Am I posting this because I have nothing else to do? No. I just thought the ad should be made known as widely as possible, including Greece, so that if everyone laughs loudly enough maybe this company will be shamed into retracting this ridiculous and most likely unhealthy product.

Here's the ad:



And here's an explanation from an Indian, male advertising exec:

"It is hard to deny that fairness creams often get social commentators and activists all worked up. What they should do is take a deep breath and think again. Lipstick is used to make your lips redder, fairness cream is used to make you fairer-so what's the problem? I don't think any Youngistani today thinks the British Raj/White man is superior to us Brown folk. That's all 1947 thinking!

The only reason I can offer for why people like fairness, is this: if you have two beautiful girls, one of them fair and the other dark, you see the fair girl's features more clearly. This is because her complexion reflects more light. I found this amazing difference when I directed Kabir Bedi, who is very fair and had to wear dark makeup for Othello, the Black hero of the play. I found I had to have a special spotlight following Kabir around the stage because otherwise the audience could not see his expressions."

Well that makes me feel a whole lot better. Personally though I don't usually find myself interrupting my black friends by saying "I can't make out whether you're happy or sad about this, because your black skin prevents me from seeing your expressions. Let me get my torch."